Tara’s Eggstraordinary Eggs

What’s the difference between a “dressed” egg and a “deviled” egg? Seems there should be a funny punch line to answer that question. Is it a north/south thing? Around here, we call them dressed eggs. I always presumed the reason is because they are a little fancier than plain old boiled eggs. Those are pretty boring. At any rate, I give you my personal expression of eggs.

In a large pot, bring 1 gallon of water to a rolling boil.

Now this is the tricky part for me – getting the eggs into the boiling pot without scalding my fingertips, or without dropping and cracking those fragile eggs. After 20+ years of scalding and suffering – the light finally came on one day. I grabbed a large spoon that has a big bowl on the end – and a long handle. Now I spoon those suckers into the boiling water one at a time. I’ve not scalded myself, or cracked an egg since my Big Spoon discovery!

Spoon a dozen (12 or 13) eggs into the boiling water. Set your timer for 12 minutes. Some folks like to stop at 10 minutes and that’s fine. I just not a big fan of underdone food. I tell myself that 10 minutes is the “by the book” “tried and true” time to boil eggs. But my OCD overcomes that knowledge, and I must boil the eggs an extra 2 minutes. Because undercooked eggs would be the end of me! Now go take a 12 minute power nap.

When the timer alerts you that your nap is – over remove eggs from the stove and pour off the hot, scalding water CAREFULLY!! We still don’t want any scalded body parts. The eggs need to cool enough to be handled, but not cool completely. When the eggs have cooled enough to touch, the shells need to be removed. I gently crack mine on the countertop and then rinse in cold water. Continue breaking, cracking, and peeling. After repeating this process 11 times, you’ll be ready to gouge out your eyes. But don’t do that just yet.

Let those shelled eggs continue to cool off a bit more. The process should be quicker now that they are “naked.” Next slice eggs in half, lengthwise. A serrated knife will give an artistic effect. Using a small spoon, gently pop out the yolks and place them all in a mixing bowl. Then flake the yolk halves with a fork to separate into a crumbly mixture. Continue flaking the eggs with mixer on low speed.

• Add ½ cup Hellmann’s Real Mayonnaise (there is NO substitute)
• 2-3 Tablespoons dill pickle juice
• 2 Tablespoons finely grated dill pickle.
• ½ teaspoon salt

Continue to mix on medium speed until yolk mixture is smooth and fluffy. Spoon the yolk mixture into egg whites. If I’m feeling real sassy – I get out my cake decorating bag and tip and fill the whites with the yolk mixture that way. Garnish with dill weed or paprika.

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